When the Preacher Needs Preaching: Confronting My Own Isolation

Not long ago, I wrote about the importance of staying connected to a Christian community—how fellowship strengthens our faith, keeps us accountable, and reflects Christ’s love in a real way.  I encouraged others not to isolate, to stay plugged into the body of Christ.  But wouldn’t you know it?  Shortly afterward, I found myself doing exactly what I had warned against.

It began with a missed Sunday service here and there, which I justified as “personal time with God.”  Sure, I watched services online, but deep down, I knew it wasn’t the same.  The fellowship was missing.  Soon enough, I started avoiding even casual meetups with friends.  I convinced myself that I didn’t want to be around people or talk about my daughter’s sudden passing.  But the truth was, I was drifting into isolation.

For nearly ten years, meeting weekly with my BOBs (Band of Brothers) has been my lifeline.  Yet, I found myself hesitating to join them.  Before our most recent meeting, I texted them to bow out, saying I was feeling down and sad.  Of course, they responded with grace and understanding, still encouraging me to come if I felt up to it.

I knew the difference between solitude with God and isolation from His people, but my struggles blurred those lines.  I had given myself permission to retreat, convincing myself that I was practicing spiritual self-care.  In reality, I was disconnecting.   The irony wasn’t lost on me—I, who had just encouraged others to stay connected, was now making excuses to isolate.   Shame crept in, and I felt like a hypocrite.  How could I struggle with the very thing I had spoken against?

The Holy Spirit’s Smackdown

That’s when the Holy Spirit intervened—not with a gentle whisper, but with a spiritual smackdown.  The nudges I felt weren’t mere suggestions; they were firm commands.  It was like a voice telling me, “Get up.  Go.  Let your brothers minister to you.”  These weren’t subtle reminders but loud, insistent calls to action.  The Holy Spirit wasn’t going to let me wallow in isolation.  He made it clear that community isn’t just a suggestion; it’s a lifeline.  I needed others to lift me up, and He wasn’t about to let me pretend otherwise.

The words from Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 came to mind and hit me hard: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”  It was as if God was saying, “You need to be lifted up right now.”  Still, I wrestled all day with the urge to stay home and hide.

The Holy Spirit didn’t convict me to condemn me but to call me out of hiding.  Conviction isn’t meant to push us into shame; it’s meant to pull us into God’s embrace.  It was like He was saying, “Yes, you’re struggling.  Yes, you’ve fallen short of what you encourage others to do.  But that’s exactly why you need community even more.”  I remembered something from Alcoholics Anonymous: “If you don’t feel like you need to go to a meeting, that’s when you need to go the most.”

Practicing What I Preach

So, I went to the meeting.  I confessed to my brothers that I had been withdrawing.  It wasn’t easy—I felt exposed and embarrassed.  But my BOBs didn’t respond with judgment.  They welcomed me with open arms, and it became clear how much my sense of loss had kept me captive.

Gradually, I began to reconnect.  I returned to church, even though I didn’t feel like it, even though I worried people would see through my “I’m fine” façade.  Bit by bit, the heaviness lifted.  The lies I had told myself—that I was in too much pain, that no one could help—started to unravel in the light of grace.

I had to remind myself that practicing what I preach doesn’t mean being perfect.  It means being willing to admit when I’m struggling and accepting the grace to start again.  It’s easy to talk about the importance of community when life is smooth, but it’s when I don’t feel like showing up that I need it the most.  That’s when faith is tested and obedience truly matters.   Joining my brothers felt like a step toward obedience, as if this was exactly what God was urging me to do—loud and clear.   That night, at the meeting, I wept openly, finding comfort in their love and prayers.

The Journey of Imperfect Steps

Even now, I’m navigating the tension between craving solitude and needing fellowship.  Some days, I have to push myself to reach out; other days, I’m reminded why it’s worth it when a friend’s encouragement lifts my spirit.  I’m learning that community isn’t about being social all the time or having it all together.  It’s about showing up as I am and letting others be there for me.  Yet, there are still moments when I feel the temptation to retreat.  The enemy never fails to feed into my temptation.

Encouragement for the Isolated

If you find yourself in a similar place, know that you’re not alone.  Maybe you’ve distanced yourself, and it feels too difficult to reconnect.  Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t need anyone else or that it’s easier to keep your struggles private.  I get it.  But don’t let the shame of isolation keep you from experiencing the grace found in community.

The enemy wants to keep us separated, to convince us that we’re not worthy of help or that no one would understand our struggles.  But those are lies.  The truth is, the church is a family, and families love each other through every season.  My BOBs are my family, my lifeline.  Don’t let pride, shame, or fear keep you from reaching out.  Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is admit you need someone else.

If you feel that tug on your heart, don’t ignore it.  That’s the Holy Spirit calling you back.  Step into the light, even if it’s uncomfortable.  Reach out to someone, even if you don’t know what to say.  Show up, even if you’re unsure of what you believe right now.  God isn’t asking you to have it all together; He’s asking you to let others walk with you as you figure it out.

I’m still learning to practice what I preach, but I’m grateful for the grace to keep trying.  That’s all any of us can do—take one step, then another, trusting that He is with us every step of the way.  Pay attention to those gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit.   Embrace them.  Test them.   Are they truly from the Holy Spirit?   Do they align with Scripture?   If you stay tuned to His guidance, you won’t have to put yourself in a position for a spiritual smackdown.